Sunday, April 27, 2014

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, AND ALOT OF INSIGHT

 A couple of days ago, I did a blog post about how so many of us have had so many wounds as a child, and how we need to recognize this inner child in us in our present life, and to treat this child with honor and with great love and tenderness. I have once again used  two of the sketches done by Paul Murray, whose focus is on people who mostly remain hidden from the world, such a people in deep Appalacia.
Here is a link to PAUL MURRAY ART If any of you are interested in seeing more of his work.
     So  the question is, once we realize the inner wounds that we have had, and we are finally able to give ourselves permission to treat our inner child with more love, how do we do it. ???? I feel sure that there are many ways that we can do this, but one that I wanted to touch on to day is this
We nned first, to reflect on this, and to turn our eyes in a different direction from the pain. We need to go deep inside of ourselves to see what it is that we really need.  Many years ago, I was going through a very difficult time in my life, and finally spent some time going to counseling. One of the things that my wise counselor asked me was WHAT IT WAS THAT I 'WANTED".  The question was a  total enigma to me, and I was dismayed to find that I really had no idea what this even meant.
So I think, that in order to be "kind" and compassionate towards ourselves, one of the first things that we really need to do is to take the time to reflect and discover, really, what it is that we consider kindness, what would make us feel good. As ourselves, what times in our own lives have ewe really felt that "the world was right and perfect". When did we feel the "most loved", and what was it that made us feel this way. This really can take some deep introspective thinking.  I did this by asking that question of myself in my journal.  What were "my most perfect moments, and what was it about them that made me feel this way?    An example of one of the things that I identified was , as a child, laying out in the backyead under a "homemade blanket tent, strung from my mothers clothesline.  I used to lay there for hours, looking up at the sky thinking about nothing in particular, and yet everything.  As an adult, if i wanted to be kind to myself, could I now get a tent, and spend some time out in nature... Yes, I could.    I also recalled that some of my most perfect moments were out in nature... loving the ocean and themountains.   Once I  identified that, I could certainly give that sort of thing to myself as an adult when I needed comfort. These are just two tiny examples of the many things that I identified.  Even things such as resting and smelling a good meal cooking... savoring the smell and knowlege that family was nearby.  I  found, after several weeks of introspection and jotting down notes about this in my journal, many many things that had made me feel good in the past. 


As we ponder this sort of thing, it is like opening PANDORA'S BOX, and we begin to have a much better understanding of what  sort of gifts we could give t o this child in us.  The real things  that matter are very often nothing to do with the mall, buying things, or getting ourselves things.  These things may help for a moment, but the real gifts of kindness that we can give to our inner child to add joy, are most likely free, and just honor knowing what our needs are, and then meeting them on a regular basis.

This process really takes some time and looking out into the world around us.
Realizing that we can be so depleted from unkindness to ourselves that we are all but empty spiritually and emotionally.
Once we are able to identify what we really need in our lives to give us joy, and we begin to provide it on a regular basis, we will find that we are a vessel that is filled with so much abundance that we won't know what to do with all of it.    linking today with Song og Raphy for the LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED EDITION

19 comments:

  1. nurturing your inner soul; I guess we all find differing ways it works for us. Knowing that you need to do it is the first big step, knowing what works for you is the next, and following it through is trifecta. Nice, reflective post you offered there Jeanne.

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  2. Wonderful, so much to meditate on here. Thank you for such a practical post - I've bookmarked it for further reference.

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  3. very smart post. So many of us spend our entire lives never having a clue what it is we really want and disappointed that we are not getting it.

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  4. What a beautiful and caring post, Jeanne...I soaked up your wise words. The artwork you shared is incredible, and wow, I love that vase! Now that you've shared some of your childhood memories, I can see how your visits to your mountain cabin must be so good for your spirit. <3

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    1. My search for healing my own inner child, and for providing the things for my self to find peace and healing are the very foundation of this cabin in the woods!

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  5. -happy sigh- thank you... for this post... for sharing with us, how you "did it"... for suggesting concrete things which we can do, to accomplish this very nebulous thing of "caring for our inner child"...

    because the concept _is_ quite nebulous. "caring for our inner child"... initially it may sound great! of course it does! but then, comes the question, "howwwwwww?" :-) all of us, on this journey, need "how?" suggestions. thank you.

    oh i so want to find some way, to bring together a list, of all you wonderful people, who are committed to self-care. i happen to be lucky enough to have found quite a few, in my travels in "pretty blog land". but not everyone reads each of the blogs, which i read. and so on, and so on. i've been touting this movement, but not everyone has noticed it.

    some way of putting a list of these blogs, on my sidebar... and if anyone who comes by, is interested, they can visit your blog and the others. maybe... i don't want to preach. just that i love to share information, when it has moved me. in case it just might move someone else...

    thank you!
    tessa~

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    1. THANK YOU TESSA! I am 66 and have had many experiences of working through how to do this. You would think that you would remember these life lessons forever, but, alas, although you get better and better, it seems to me as if you always have to keep relearning aspects of it. I have thought of creating a "button" if someone wanted to remember my blog, for the sidebar. I am getting ready to go on a trip in this next week, but when I come home, I might work on that. Meanwhile, when I want to share something that I think is significant for someone, I click on the blogpost title, copy and past it, and text/ email etc to the person. It makes the photo of the post come up with the link and you can then easily send the information to the person. I have also got a file that I keep important bookmarked posts, things that I want to remember and reread again later. Hugs to you and thank you for your wonderful comments!

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  6. Words of Wisdom, years ago at a retreat we were asked what we wanted and it changed my life. I need a little renewal. It is amazing how we carry our childhood with us the rest of our life. I'm almost 60 but I remember my childhood vividly.

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    1. It is a life changing event to learn how significant that question is, reflect on it, and act on it. A book also that was really life changing for me was Sara Ban Breathnach's book, SIMPLE ABUNDANCE.

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  7. Many years ago, when we my daughter attended a special school, I went through some intense therapy so that I could better meet her needs. One of the first things you realize in therapy is that it is our own needs that need to be met so that we can free ourselves of what hinders us. When you can do that, you find, like you said, you have so much to give, not just to yourself, but to others ... and often giving to others is a gift to yourself. Who knew this complicated life could be so simplified. Your thought provoking posts always stir my insides ... I love coming to see you. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Jeanne.

    Andrea @ From The Sol

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  8. thanks for the nudge to ask a few questions of ourselves. good advice.

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  9. Maybe this is why so many go thru a mid-life crisis. You reach a certain age and you begin to realize time may be a limited quantity and you realize it's time for some introspection as to what makes YOU happy. Sometimes people need to reach a crisis point before they take the time for themselves, and all that is involved in that process. Very interesting post. Thanks for joining in at Song-ography.

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  10. Gorgeous! Find what makes you happy and that's what matters most!

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  11. Thank you for your heartfelt post. I agree with asking ourselves when we are at our most peaceful, happy, joyful selves. It's easy to glide through days of work and household chores and forget to pursue what really gives us joy. And then not to hide that or get discouraged if people don't understand. I'm learning to do that better, but I have a long ways to go. Your images are beautiful, too :)

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  12. Goodness there is a lot to take in here. So many beautiful photos (including that "to die for" gorgeous vase). I'm not really sure I've ever sat back and ask myself these questions. Perhaps it's time I did.

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    1. When i did it, I was really in a state of crisis. How much smarter women are to ask those questions way before that stage. It was, for me, a lengthy process to find out the answers to the question. Really had to do alot of reflecting and writing... and then after i answered the questions of what had made me happy in the past, figuring out how to translate it in to practical things that I could do for myself in the present... and then doing it.

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  13. Wonderful series of images to accompany your insights. I especially like the drawings.

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  14. Hello Jeanne, what an astounding post. So full of insight and wonderful advice. Beautiful photos too. Blessings!

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  15. Thoughtfully and tenderly written, Jeanne.

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